GAMES UPDATE **December 31st 2010**

This is an update on my games I have. The stuff in bold are the new ones if you are curious as to what they are. Enjoy!



Wii/Wiiware:

Wii Sports
Chocobo Dungeon
Pokemon Battle Revolution
Super Smash Brothers Brawl
Super Paper Mario
Phantom Brave
Muramasa: The Demon Blade
Link's Crossbow Training
Dokapon Kingdom
Donkey Kong Country Returns
Yu-Gi-Oh: Duel Transer
uDraw Studio

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations
Bubble Bobble
Bubble Bobble Wii Version
Phoenix Wright
Beyond Oasis
Donkey Kong Country
Kid Icarus
Pokemon Puzzle League
Pokemon Rumble Arena
Mario Brothers 3
Kirby 64: Crystal Shards
Mario Kart 64
Muscle March
Super Mario World
Metroid
Pokemon Snap **Thanks to Arclad84**
Secret of Mana **Thanks to Arclad84**
Donkey Kong Country 2


XBox 360:

Enchanted Arms
Zoids Assault
Star Ocean
Eternal Sonata
Assassin's Creed
Last Remnant
Sega Tennis
Enslaved: Odyssey to the West
Tales of Vesperia **Gift from Arclad84**



GameCube:

Yu-Gi-Oh: Falsebound Kingdom
Zelda: Twilight Princess
The Sonic Collection (Sonic 1-Sonic 3 and Knuckles, Sonic Spinball, Sonic 3D-Blast)
Sonic Adventure 1
Sonic Adventure 2 Battle
Baton Kaitos
Zoids Battle Legends
Zoids vs. iii
Pokemon Coliseum
Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness
Zelda: Wind Waker
Megaman X Collection (Megaman X - Megaman X6)
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Zelda Mega Collection (Classic Zelda, Zelda II, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask)
Zelda: Master Quest
Carmen Sandiego <--borrowing from my sister
Lost Kingdoms
BeyBlade
Tales of Symphonia **Birthday Gift from PhantomSavage**


GBA: **PLAYING WITH GBA PLAYER ON GC**

Yu-Gi-Oh : GX Academy
Yu-Gi-Oh : Destiny of the Duel
Yu-Gi-Oh : Sacred Cards
Yu-Gi-Oh : Championship 2006
Pokemon Ruby
Kingdom Hearts: CoM
Shaman King: Master of Spirits

Nintendo 64:

Pokemon Stadium
Pokemon Stadium 2
Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Zelda: Majora's Mask
Pokemon Yellow/Gold/Blue **With use of Pokemon Stadium**

PSP

Yu-Gi-Oh Tag Force 4
.HACK//LINK (Import)
Neverland Card Battles
Lunar: Silver Star Harmony
Dissidia
Jeanne D'Arc
Yu-Gi-Oh Tag Force 2
Zuma
Spyro The Dragon

Dreamcast:

Grandia II
Super Mario Burned CD Games **Gift From ARCLAD84**

Playstation:

Jet Moto
Croc
Brave Fencer Musashi
Grandia
MegaMan X4
Gundam Battle Assault 2
Digimon: Rumble Arena
Legend of Mana
Digimon: Digital Card Battle
Legend of Legaia
Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete
Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete
Chrono Cross

Playstation 2:

Yu-Gi-Oh: Duelist of the Roses
Yu-Gi-Oh: Capsule Monsters Coliseum
Sega Collection **LOOK UP FOR GAMES**
Digimon: Rumble Arena 2
Romancing Saga
Dawn of Mana
Final Fantasy X
Genji
Shadow of the Colossus
God of War
Sly Cooper
Sly 2
Sly 3
Legend of Legaia 2
Star Ocean
Kingdom Hearts II
Kingdom Hearts: RECOM
Bakugan
.hack (ALL 4 DISCS)
.hack//G.U. (ALL 3 DISCS)
Mana Khemia
Final Fantasy X-2
MegaMan X7
MegaMan X8
Orphen: Scion of Sorcery
Dark Cloud
Dark Cloud 2
Klonoa 2
Grandia Xtreme
Ape Escape 2
Shaman King
Rouge Galaxy
Yu-Gi-Oh: Beginning of Destiny
Magna Carta: Tears of Blood
Shining Tears
Radiata Stories



Playstation 3
3D Dot Game Heroes
Little Big Planet
Wet
Valkyrie Chronicles **Birthday Gift from GUNANGEL2**
Bayonetta **Birthday Gift from GUNANGEL2**
Trinity Universe
Eye of Judgment **X-mas Gift from PHANTOMSAVAGE**

Day One of the 30 Day Challenge

Well, today is a bit rocky. I'm still not used to what I'm doing, but meh, I'm sure that it will make me feel better and the future days will be harder since I will be changing what I'm doing.

For those wondering, today is the first day of me attempting at losing weight. I had a scary moment a few weeks back because I went WAY over my diet I had. I had a really bad case of the munches, and I had a terrible scare of what would've changed my life.

But that kinda opened my eyes a bit, making me want to change myself. i don't like how I look, and I don't like how I feel everyday; all tired and worn out. I WANT to change how I am and how I feel, and I am going to do it MY way. I'm putting myself on a slow paced method of helping me achieve the feeling of "awesome" like I used to.

I'm also planning to go beyond that feeling and improve on how I feel, to bring up my self-confidence. My boyfriend, as I type this, isn't too happy with such things with how I speak about myself, so, why not change that too and work at it, right?

For now, I know people will flip out and say you shouldn't do it, but I'm going ahead and using the Wii Fit/Wii Sports first for the next week and a half to improve on fitness. I'm a procrastinator by nature and lazy on most days, and I enjoy playing videogames, so I'm going to ATTEMPT to fix all that by the use of my own console.

Today, i did just that. I'm planning on working out with it for about 40 minuets a day. and before I head to bed, do a few push ups and stuff.

I'm also going to try to take better care of myself. i have a hard time with that nowadays due to me being busy and such, so I'm going to find time, make a schedule, and do my best to stick with it.

And I have created goals for this week and they will change every week in hopes of making this challenging and interesting. I will find time to do things I want, and not make this a chore for me to do.

This 30 day challenge will be REAL hard for me, since I tend to go at things halfway and stop, but I am determined to not let that happen. So, my plan is to use this blog to post what is going on in the days and how I'm working on this goal.

So for now, I am going to be heading to bed, since that is a step to taking better care of myself and I hope that tomorrow will be just as awesome as today. =3

Update on Games I have ***Updated October 29, 2010***

This is an update on my games I have. The stuff in bold are the new ones if you are curious as to what they are. Enjoy!



Wii/Wiiware:

Wii Sports
Chocobo Dungeon
Pokemon Battle Revolution
Super Smash Brothers Brawl
Super Paper Mario
Phantom Brave
Muramasa: The Demon Blade
Link's Crossbow Training
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations

Bubble Bobble
Bubble Bobble Wii Version
Phoenix Wright
Beyond Oasis
Donkey Kong Country
Kid Icarus
Pokemon Puzzle League
Pokemon Rumble Arena
Mario Brothers 3
Kirby 64: Crystal Shards
Mario Kart 64
Muscle March
Super Mario World
Metroid
Pokemon Snap **Thanks to Arclad84**
Secret of Mana **Thanks to Arclad84**


XBox 360:

Enchanted Arms
Zoids Assault
Star Ocean
Eternal Sonata
Assassin's Creed
Last Remnant
Sega Tennis



GameCube:

Yu-Gi-Oh: Falsebound Kingdom
Zelda: Twilight Princess
The Sonic Collection (Sonic 1-Sonic 3 and Knuckles, Sonic Spinball, Sonic 3D-Blast)
Sonic Adventure 1
Sonic Adventure 2 Battle
Baton Kaitos
Zoids Battle Legends
Zoids vs. iii
Pokemon Coliseum
Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness
Zelda: Wind Waker
Megaman X Collection (Megaman X - Megaman X6)
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Zelda Mega Collection (Classic Zelda, Zelda II, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask)
Zelda: Master Quest
Carmen Sandiego <--borrowing from my sister
Lost Kingdoms
BeyBlade
Tales of Symphonia **Birthday Gift from PhantomSavage**


GBA: **PLAYING WITH GBA PLAYER ON GC**

Yu-Gi-Oh : GX Academy
Yu-Gi-Oh : Destiny of the Duel
Yu-Gi-Oh : Sacred Cards
Yu-Gi-Oh : Championship 2006
Pokemon Ruby
Kingdom Hearts: CoM
Shaman King: Master of Spirits

Nintendo 64:

Pokemon Stadium
Pokemon Stadium 2
Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Zelda: Majora's Mask
Pokemon Yellow/Gold/Blue **With use of Pokemon Stadium**

PSP

Yu-Gi-Oh Tag Force 4
.HACK//LINK (Import)
Neverland Card Battles
Lunar: Silver Star Harmony
Dissidia
Jeanne D'Arc
Yu-Gi-Oh Tag Force 2
Zuma
Spyro The Dragon



Playstation:

Jet Moto
Croc
Brave Fencer Musashi
Grandia
MegaMan X4
Gundam Battle Assault 2
Digimon: Rumble Arena
Legend of Mana
Digimon: Digital Card Battle
Legend of Legaia
Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete
Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete
Chrono Cross

Playstation 2:

Yu-Gi-Oh: Duelist of the Roses
Yu-Gi-Oh: Capsule Monsters Coliseum
Sega Collection **LOOK UP FOR GAMES**
Digimon: Rumble Arena 2
Romancing Saga
Dawn of Mana
Final Fantasy X
Genji
Shadow of the Colossus
God of War
Sly Cooper
Sly 2
Sly 3
Legend of Legaia 2
Star Ocean
Kingdom Hearts II
Kingdom Hearts: RECOM
Bakugan
.hack
.hack//G.U.
Mana Khemia
Final Fantasy X-2
MegaMan X7
MegaMan X8
Orphen: Scion of Sorcery
Dark Cloud
Dark Cloud 2
Klonoa 2
Grandia Xtreme
Ape Escape 2
Shaman King
Rouge Galaxy
Yu-Gi-Oh: Beginning of Destiny


Playstation 3

3D Dot Game Heroes
Little Big Planet
Wet
Valkyrie Chronicles **Birthday Gift from GUNANGEL2**
Bayonetta **Birthday Gift from GUNANGEL2**

Zoids Fanfiction FTW? Chapter One of Zoidan

I did this a LOONG time ago. I just thought I would place this up here just in case people were interested in this sort of thing. I know that some of my followers are interested in Zoids, and it isn't too popular on fanfiction.net since people don't read Zoids fanfictions there too much or if not at all. So, here is chapter one. Will I finish it or even work on it? Only time will tell...

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ZOIDS! I ONLY OWN THE CHARACTER I MADE UP! THANKS A BUNCH! -thumbs up-

Zoidan: Advanced Zoidians

by Kourine Narumi

Prologue: During the War...

Prologue: Two Years Ago...

"This will make the war more interesting with this kind of tactical approach, wouldn't you say Ambient?" Hiltz said to his crimson colored organoid that stood beside its Master high atop a metal rod within an Imperial building. It growled out softly as an answer, watching below as two of the Empire's amateur soldiers were being carted off to a laboratory. A faint smile grew upon Hiltz's face as he watched a high ranked military solider followed closely behind the group. "I wonder how the Republican Army will fair with this.." he mumbled to himself as he and the red organoid flew out of the building, with no witnesses that seen them come in, nor leave.

The door slowly opened, as the team of scientists threw the 2 experimental soldiers into separate capsules within the experimental room. Controls were placed in front of both of the capsules. The male and female solider tried their best to get away and out of the scientists grasp, but to no avail as they locked the capsules. The girl banged furiously at the glass, feeling the oxygenated thick liquid fill within her pod. She looked over at the male solider, seeing that he was terrified by the liquid that was rising up to his knees now. Before long, both capsules were filled with the green liquid as the high ranked officer approached the two capsules. A small grin was on his face before he spoke to them with a demanding voice that echoed within the room.

"I'm glad that you two have made it this far. Through 3 weeks of experimenting with forty soldiers, only you two have been able to accomplish those tasks. This experiment will enable you to become even stronger than before. Now, just relax and try not to cause anymore problems for my team here." The commanding officer smirked as he watched the two scientists approach the capsules. They were both holding two tubes of what looked to be a crimson shade of liquid flowing within the tubes. Both of the soldiers gulped out as the officer laughed. "I want these lab rats finished by the time we finish the battle at Dragon Head Bridge. I'm counting on you! No mistakes!" And with those words, the officer turned on his heel and walked out of the door,leaving the soldiers to be the guinea pigs of what was to be an astonishing feat for the Imperial Forces...

...

A few months passed, with the Imperial Forces loosing most of the battles. The Republics had the Imperials on the run, with their tail between their legs. However, the forces within the First Panzer division had been acquired one of the Imperial's secret weapons that took the past year to 'create.' The leader of this division, Major Karl Schubaltz, kindly accepted to test out their new product as they now approached their target; a Republic base a few hundred miles from the Wind Colony. The mission that he agreed to, was to destroy the base by testing the new weapon.

"All units hold back!" Karl hollered through the transmission of his Black Zaber Fang. The Molgas and Dark Horns all halted in place behind a sand dune, preparing themselves for the next order form their leader. Karl sighed as he adjusted his camera on his Zoid, pulling a closer view of the base on his monitor. He noticed that a handful of soldiers were on top of the 4 corner towers, with at least two more on the catwalks. He noticed two Command Wolf AC's with their Sniper Guns and Ion Boosters on them. "I guess this is a good place for a test run, with a place as heavily armed as this." he whispered to himself.

As if it heard Karl's words, a white Konig Wolf approached next to the Major, staring straight ahead at the base that was theirs for the taking. Karl glared at the Konig Wolf. For it being a Republic Zoid, he was still cautious on trusting it. He had his fair share of traitors within his unit, and with a Konig Wolf on his team, he was extremely cautious. He pressed a few controls to get the wolf's frequency to speak to the pilot. "You know what to do. Now get to it!" he ordered.

The wolf didn't move after the command from the higher ranking officer, as if pondering on how to handle the situation. Karl grew annoyed at not having the pilot listen to a simple command. He flicked the monitor on his Zaber Fang to get the pilot on his monitor. When he acquired the Konig Wolf's frequency and got the picture, his eyes widened. There was no pilot sitting within the confines of the Zoid. "What the- what kind of test is this? Are they trying to control Wild Zoids?" he whispered. Before he said another word, the white wolf was off, darting towards the base. Before Karl could say anything, the right side of his monitor revealed his so called right-hand man, Marcus, within one of the Dark Horns. "Sir, what do you think the General has planned? Using a Wild Zoid for combat? is he just asking for trouble?"

"I don't know. But, we will soon see. " he replied to only cut off the connection to the Konig Wolf and the Dark Horn. he leaned back in his seat, hands still gripped onto the Zaber's controls. "We will soon see.."

He seen the wolf on his camera approach the base. He noticed that none of the defense sequences in the Republic base activated. He chuckled some at this. "They are falling for it. Simple minded fools." he said as he seen the Konig Wolf enter the gates that opened for the Zoid without even a fight. "They really think that the Zoid is theirs. No wonder that General Vols didn't want us to come. However, it is my duty since it is now within the Panzer division."

Not even moments later, blasts within the compound were seen as a huge explosion in the center took out almost the whole base. The alarm within the base went off, indicating they were under attack. Karl's eyes widened at the remarkable power the Wild Zoid had. "It can act as if it had human instincts of a Zoid pilot. I am impressed. I wonder where they found such a Wild Zoid..and a Class S Zoid no less.." He cleared his throat as he turned on the communications. "All units! Attack!" he shouted as his Zaber Fang darted down the dune, along with the Dark Horns and Molgas. They approached the battlefield, knowing that the Republicans never stood a chance against the "Trojan Horse" play. It was flawless. The Imperials won, leaving the Republic base to nothing but a cinder and a memory, all thanks to the Wolf in Sheep's clothing.

...

The First Panzer division returned to their base. In the end, there were no casualties ; not even a scratch on the Zoids but only being short on ammunition. Karl leaped out of his Black Zaber, gazing up at the huge white wolf as it entered the hanger. "The battles just got easier. But, I wonder how they got a wild Zoid to do their bidding?" he asked out loud, his eyes never leaving the wolf.

"You think it is a wild Zoid Major?" a voice called out from behind him.

Karl looked behind him, only to quickly turn around, saluting the General, clicking his heels for a quick saluting stance. "General Vols, Sir!" he cried out before ad-easing, his eyes showing confusion within them. "It isn't a wild Zoid? But, there is no one piloting it."

The General chuckled as he pointed to the wolf. "The secret is within the Zoid Major! Behold! I show to you our secret weapon!"

As if on cue, the white wolf began to glow a white essence. Karl was in awe as he noticed the Zoid start to get smaller, taking a new shape within the light. After a few moments, his eyes widen as he seen a white-haired woman with a light blue streak in the white , standing where the huge Class S Zoid stood within her Imperial uniform. Her purple eyes were glaring in the direction of the General and The Major. Karl was speechless as he turned toward the laughing General, who looked as if he became the greatest person alive.

"Major! I give you the very first Zoidan! Our secret weapon!"

Using the PSP for This!!

This is just a test to see how this works on my PSP...and so far I think it is awesome and ANNOYING!!!

But yeah..that's why the last one was a bit short. My parents are too nosey anymore with my internet life.

So...I've been thinking about doing another donation stream when I have the free time to do so. The charity cause----Lupus.

The reason I wanted to do this one is because my mom has been confirmed to have this after the blood tests they got her to do. So,this one is a personal one.

Those BLEH Days and Randomness..

Well, things for me have been one HELL of a rollercoaster ride. I've been depressed to the point of not wanting to be in hardly ANY contact with my frends until just recently this week when I slowly came back into the Skype calls I'm usually in. SOmetimes even then, with the people that don't even bug me, I don't want to be in them as much anymore. I guess I'm just too bummed to do ANYthing. Hell, I still have layouts to do, and just need an inspirational spark to do those things anymore. That's a bad thing. I SHOULD be able to do them, regardless of what I feel at the moment. It's what I went to school for, and I need to handle on how to do things with me being pissed, fustrated, or whatever. I mean, of course walking away from it for a few min. and returning is normal to do. It's just hard to explain these things like this.

I've also been asked to help out my frend again with his money issues. I'm sure he feels bad about doing this. I mean, my friend and I REALLY hate doing these things, but hey, I rather grit my teeth and bare it like he does than have him on the streets. Guilt would sink in if I didn't help him and besides; his parents asked him to do it for them. How can he say no to that? ^^''

But yeah. I've been thinking about things too hard again today...

Like, my parents are talking me into doing graphical work for my boss. I mean, yeah, I went to school for it, but, the way they act, it makes me feel like I shouldn't even BE in ths field of work. Aw well, they can kiss my ass. I'm going to work REAL hard at this, and who knows? THis could be my big break! We will soon see...

Uneasiness...

I've been feeling rather strange anymore...well more than usual XD

I guess....I should explain this feeling as best as I can..

There is this guy...me and him talk as much as we can. It's nice to talk to him and well...he does indeed like me...okay more like loves me..

I told him nicely that I didn't accept him as being with me after he confessed his love to me..I felt so bad. My heart sank, but it happens to all the others that confessed their love to me..I just, I just don't see myself with anyone at all. There are so many factors that go within this as well, but, it's just how I feel..I mean really? Skye being with someone? Hell would freeze over..

I mean, don't get me wrong...I've been with others, but it felt wrong for them all. I dumped them, as much as it pained me. I just hate trampling on people's hearts. But, I can't say what they would like, and lead them on...it hurts me even more.

Anyway....We got to talking like usual..but...after a few months, I started to feel....different towards him. I didn't understand it. I never felt like this before really. It's like...two people inside of me struggling to win...to either accept or reject him. The Acceptance seems to be winning. I smile every time I talk to him, I enjoy the conversations that me and him share, either text, or voice...

It's just something I enjoy....like the simplest pleasures. When he's not around...I feel rather empty inside. Even hanging with others doesn't fill that void as much as I want it to. It makes me want him more...I feel like such a child, but this is just all feelings that I can't explain.

Is this really love? Where you think about him, your chest hurts to even think of his name, and even think about him before you sleep? Is it just enjoying ones company, ignoring everything around you, but the one that you WISH to listen to? Is it love to have your heart race, wanting to say the silliest and craziest things to the other, regardless how you regret it or not? Is it love...to just wanting to listen to his voice, and nothing more..?

Pride however, does sink in. It makes you silent, unable to speak those 3 words you long to tell him, and even halt all other words that will reflect your feelings you wish to tell him, but cannot. It hurts you inside, your heart tearing in half..

I think it is more of Fear than Pride..I realize. It is fear of change. What would happen after I say those 3 words? What would happen after I express myself out of character and start to be even MORE expressive of myself towards him?

I fear of many things with this. I fear of having it not be love, but a mere bonding that I cannot explain, or even it is just my body being stupid. I don't want to hurt his heart...it would me so bad if I ever did such a thing. I wouldn't forgive myself.

I refuse to lead him on...I refuse to further the relationship, even though I wish to move forward with it. It hurts so much. It makes me lose sleep, not eat as much, and makes me think too much to the point where I just ignore everyone around me. I hate this feeling. I'm not used to such things, if it is a normal feeling.

I guess where I'm getting at in this is (besides expressing myself through words here for my own personal reasons)....I don't know what I should do. I'm still searching for the answer.

If this is love....if this is what I feel..then I'm shocked that I didn't know it sooner....or even discover it sooner...

With my feelings and reasoning's I've held for almost a lifetime, only for it to crumble and melt the ice around my heart in a matter of months...it makes me uneasy.

I don't want pride to win, or fear....I want to accept this. To see for myself, if this is indeed....love.

Love Relationships...not my thing..

People have been recently around me have been finding a significant other. My girlfriend even had a child with her loved one. A few even online have discovered a significant other. And, people have even asked to be with me. I declined, with a bit of guilt that they put their whole heart and soul into a speech or just say the simple phrase of "I love you...."

I just don't choose to be with someone. I mean, I have personal reasons behind it, but I do indeed have experience with being with someone, but, it never was/is ment to be due to being a bunch of lies or whatnot.


The first time I had some sort of interest in being with someone was in 5th grade. Needless to say, I did manage to get the guy since he did ask me to be with him. It was going well, that was, until I started being questioned by the bruises on my arms and legs at school and home. I then realized that it wasn't a good idea of being with him. He was just too much of a man, so he just didn't know his strength, regardless of what I have to say...

After that, in middle school *7th, 8th grade*, a prep asked me to be with him. I didn't know what to say and I thought that it would help me try to make friends. I agreed and tried to find out what he liked and didn't like, and go from there. He called me up, and even sang songs for me, making me feel happy and such, since I didn't have *and still do to this day* a good self-esteem. I have a low self -esteem, so hearing his music flow into my head of songs he made with his words and his guitar made me very happy. However, one day, he had his friends all around him and I walked up to him to greet him at school one day, only for him to humilate me in front of his friends. It was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. It was something I didn't want to believe. It just wasn't a great thing..

Another one was a VERY clingy person who wouldn't leave me alone. it was a blind date of sorts when I met him and my so called friend hooked me up with him. It wasn't a great experience when I went with him to my Junior prom. It was the worse experience. I almost had died when he was too stubborn to get someone to take over his driving to get to the shore afterwords after when I had a horrible Prom experience when he wouldn't let me talk to my friends when at that same night, I was getting yelled at one of them during the prom. Then he wouldn't stop clinging to me on the boardwalk and he even wanted me to sleep on the same futon as him in the hotel that me and him and my friend with his bf. It wasn't going to happen. I hid in the bedroom, pretending I was sleeping before he was forced to go back home the next day to drop off my friends bf for him to go to work like he said he would. He didn't want to go and leave me behind. He was so awkward, and needless to say, that was the last time I seen him.

I had quite a few other experiences with that I refuse to talk about, but I haven't had a good experience with the love relationship thing. It makes me not want to have a significant other. It just isn't my thing anyway. I don't see myself with someone, and people still try to prove me wrong with making it a "competition" to see who will win my ice cold heart? Who will melt it and make me finally break is what they are after. Will they pull it off? I don't think so, but when I tell them these stories, and they continue to fight me for it to prove me wrong, I just can't stop them. It is their choice, even though I don't want to hurt them in the end. That is all I worry about....

But, I had to get this off my chest at point in time. It's been an issue with me, and I do have other issues revolving about the relationship thing, but it won't be in this part I'm afraid.....
Take care.

Insert Interesting Title Here

Well, the past few weeks have been interesting. I've been working, being sick, attempt to get back in things, and now, I'm sick again. Currently, I have some awkward sickness that is attempting to kill me T.T CURSE YOU COLD AND ALLERGIES!!! I don't understand it.

I had a sneezing fit during Saturday Nights stream. I guess it was amusing and annoying. But who knows. I'm sorry for those who had to hear such sneezes. >>'' Wasn't my fault, I sware! The wind in my area has been pushing everything all over, and that makes my allergies go insane. It feels like my sinuses are going insane and making my face swollen and makes me be in a slight pain state.

Putting that all aside, I am going to be VERY busy for the time being. I might as well come up with a list of things here as to remind yself of the things I need to accomplish for others...as well as some other things I would LIKE TO accomplish!

List:

Layouts:
KZX
Arclad84
GVOLLT
GUNANGEL
(someone elses...name slips my mind)

Fanfiction:
Tadlocker

Let's Plays To Finish:
Grandia
Lunar
Pokemon Ruby
Grandia II
Digimon: Digital Card Battle

Drawings:
N/A

The layouts I have made a time for me to finish (as well as typing up the finished part of the..-twitch- Fanfiction) by the end of this week, at the latest by next Monday. I will finally be at east by then.....until the next donation stream the following weekend.

As far as the Lps are concerned, I will attempt to finish Ruby and Grandia by the end of June. That way, I will run back into LUNAR and Grandia II and have them go up alongside of FFX with Phantom in September. If not, I'm going to work on them over the summer as much as I possibly can. I think the 3 months off will be cancelled. I'm TOTALLY behind in things, but things couldn't be helped, with the computer dying and me being sick and unable to do anything.

Gehhh.......I hate how things don't go my way.

If anything comes up, I'll let ya know.

This has been nothing interesting, see ya around!

Games I have!

Wii/Wiiware:

Wii Sports
Chocobo Dungeon
Pokemon Battle Revolution
Super Smash Brothers Brawl
Super Paper Mario
Phantom Brave
Muramasa: The Demon Blade

Bubble Bobble
Bubble Bobble Wii Version
Phoenix Wright
Beyond Oasis
Donkey Kong Country
Kid Icarus
Pokemon Puzzle League
Pokemon Rumble Arena
Mario Brothers 3
Kirby 64: Crystal Shards
Mario Kart 64
Muscle March
Super Mario World
Metroid


XBox 360:

Enchanted Arms
Zoids Assault
Star Ocean
Eternal Sonata
Assassin's Creed
Last Remnant
Sega Tennis
FFXIII


GameCube:

Yu-Gi-Oh: Falsebound Kingdom
Zelda: Twilight Princess
The Sonic Collection (Sonic 1-Sonic 3 and Knuckles, Sonic Spinball, Sonic 3D-Blast)
Sonic Adventure 1
Sonic Adventure 2 Battle
Baton Kaitos
Zoids Battle Legends
Zoids vs. iii
Pokemon Coliseum
Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness
Zelda: Wind Waker
Megaman X Collection (Megaman X - Megaman X6)
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Zelda Mega Collection (Classic Zelda, Zelda II, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask)
Zelda: Master Quest
Carmen Sandiego <--borrowing from my sister


GBA: **PLAYING WITH GBA PLAYER ON GC**

Yu-Gi-Oh : GX Academy
Yu-Gi-Oh : Destiny of the Duel
Yu-Gi-Oh : Sacred Cards
Yu-Gi-Oh : Championship 2006
Pokemon Ruby
Kingdom Hearts: CoM


Nintendo 64:

Pokemon Stadium
Pokemon Stadium 2
Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Zelda: Majora's Mask
Pokemon Yellow/Gold/Blue **With use of Pokemon Stadium**


Nintendo:

Super Mario Bros. 3
Milon's Secret Castle
Burgertime
Faxandu
Megaman 5
Duck Hunt
Super Mario Bros. 2
Super Mario Bros.
Commando
Pinball
Elevator Action
Popeye
Mickey Mousecapade
Sesame Street: 1, 2, 3 **XD**
Bases Loaded
R.C. Pro A.M
Wizard and Warriors
Lolo
Stinger
Castlevania
Deadly Towers
Metroid
Wheel of Fortune
Alpha Mission
T&C Surf
Anticipation
Win, Lose, or Draw

**MORE FOR NINTENDO LATER**

Playstation:

Jet Moto
Croc
Brave Fencer Musashi
Grandia
MegaMan X4
Gundam Battle Assault 2
Digimon: Rumble Arena
Legend of Mana
Digimon: Digital Card Battle
Legend of Legaia
Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete
Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete


Playstation 2:

Yu-Gi-Oh: Duelist of the Roses
Yu-Gi-Oh: Capsule Monsters Coliseum
Sega Collection **LOOK UP FOR GAMES**
Digimon: Rumble Arena 2
Romancing Saga
Dawn of Mana
Final Fantasy X
Genji
Shadow of the Colossus
God of War
Sly Cooper
Sly 2
Sly 3
Legend of Legaia 2
Star Ocean
Kingdom Hearts II
Kingdom Hearts: RECOM
Bakugan
.hack
.hack//G.U.
Mana Khemia
Final Fantasy X-2
MegaMan X7
MegaMan X8
Orphen: Scion of Sorcery
Dark Cloud
Dark Cloud 2
Klonoa 2
Grandia Xtreme
Ape Escape 2

Update about Donation Stream for April 17th

The Donation stream for Joey Gaillard is this weekend on April 17th, Saturday at 8:00AM EST
**SEE PREVIOUS POST**

As such, I do have a layout for goals and what people get for donating in the stream. This is the slightly unfinished version. I recommend coming back here this week for the finished version when it comes to be.

Prices:

$0.00 : getting a shout-out to advertise this video : (VIDEO TO COME SOON)
**SHOUT-OUTS TO BE DONE AFTER EVERY HOUR!**

$2.50 : A raffle ticket For the Pokemon Giveaway!
**MORE WILL BE EXPLAINED BELOW**

$5.00 : A raffle ticket For the Pokemon Giveaway!/ A half hour game-play of Game of Choice
**CHECK BELOW FOR GAME CHOICES!**

$10.00 : A raffle ticket For the Pokemon Giveaway!/ An hour of game-play of Game Of Choice
**CHECK BELOW FOR GAME CHOICES**

$20.00 : A raffle ticket For the Pokemon Giveaway!/ A Layout for YouTube/Me singing a song for your enjoyment >>''

$25.00 : A raffle ticket For the Pokemon Giveaway!/ I will do a drawing of a Pokemon, Trainer, Rocket Member, Team Aqua, Team Magma, Team Galactica, or a scene from the Anime or Manga of your choice. I will also do Human versions of Pokemon!
**CAN BE FROM THE MANGA, ANIME**

$50.00 : 2 Raffle Tickets For the Pokemon Giveaway!/Pick any 2 of the choices below this price range/guest commentate in a future Pokemon LP video with me

$75.00 : 3 Raffle Tickets For the Pokemon Giveaway!/Pick any 2 of the choices below the $50.00 price range/

$100.00 : 5 Raffle Tickets For the Pokemon Giveaway!/Pick any 3 of the choices below this $50.00 price range/You will be in my Pokemon Fanfiction I'm producing this summer. **PM DETAILS**


Now, regarding the raffle tickets, every time you donate more than the $2.50, you will get another ticket to be placed in my awesome Legend of Zelda Hat, with the exception of the last 3 donations. Later on in the middle of the stream (TIME WILL BE FINALIZED LATER ON) I will pull out a few names from the hat of awesome and the winners will receive the Pokemon that was called out BEFORE the name was picked. So, If you have Pokemon Diamond, Pearl, Platinum, Heart Gold, or Soul Silver, you will be able to recieve these Pokemon! Here are the Rules!

RULES:

1. YOU MUST HAVE DIAMOND, PEARL, PLATINUM, HEART GOLD, or SOUL SILVER! IF YOU DO NOT, YOU CANNOT PARTICIPATE IN THE RAFFLE!

2. IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR REAL NAME CALLED OUT, PLEASE PLACE YOUR NICKNAME IN THE PAYPAL DESCRIPTION!

3. You have to have Wi-fi Unlocked in the game so we can trade!

4. I will need your friend code.

5. If you DO win, You need to PM me to verify your address so I can confirm your winnings.

6. You can pick the nickname of the Pokemon before I give it to you.

The Pokemon:

The Pokemon that are going to be up for trade are below this. More might be added later when I think of some good ones. Until then, this is all I have so far:

**NOTE: YOU CAN CHOOSE 1 OF THE TWO ITEMS THAT ARE NEXT TO THE NAME**

"Volt Tackle" Pikachu : Heart Scale or Miracle Seed
"Surf" Pikachu : Heart Scale or Mystic Water
"Fly" Pikachu : Heart Scale or Charcoal

Bulbasaur : Heart Scale or Leaf Stone
Charmander : Heart Scale or Fire Stone
Squirtle : Heart Scale or Water Stone

Torchic : Heart Scale or Sun Stone**
Mudkip : Heart Scale or Moon Stone
Treecko : Heart Scale or Thunderstone

Cyndaquil : Heart Scale or Armor Fossil
Totodile : Heart Scale or Helix Fossil
Chikorita : Heart Scale or Old Amber**

Piplup : Heart Scale or Shiny Stone
Chimchar : Heart Scale or Oval Stone
Turtwig : Heart Scale or Thunder Stone

Raikou : Heart Scale or ???
Suicune : Heart Scale or ???
Entei : Heart Scale or ???

Zapdos : Heart Scale or ???
Articuno : Heart Scale or ???
Moltres : Heart Scale or ???

** = Don't have at the moment

You can use these guys to breed and such, but the Flying and Surfing as As Is, meaning, what it is, that's how it is. Any other Pokemon, they are as is. I'm not customizing the pokemon for you. Sorry.


Now, Goals are among this weekend stream. My goal for THIS stream is $300.00. So, I'm going to make this stream more interesting with THESE goals:

**WILL UPDATE SOON!**

GOALS:

If I make:

$100.00 = I will dramatically read a one shot Fanfiction for all >=3

$150.00 = U will attempt to do a fandub of a scene in a videogame

$200.00 = I will do an attempt to do a **horribly done I might add** Pokemon episode dub and RUIN IT! **then came the storm...**

$300.00 = I will announce it in the stream! **OMFG!!**

QUIZ!

Near the end of the stream and before the raffle, I'll start up a quiz for EVERYONE in the stream to participate. The quiz theme is unknown or even if there IS a theme for it, I don't know. I'll be creative about it.

How the Quiz will work:

I am going to pause the ENTIRE USTREAM CHAT! That will enable any cheating and me trying to go through the stream chat will take some time. How it's going to happen is this:

Chat will be paused, meaning that people will have to use the PM part of the stream to answer the questions. The first person who answers it (I will know by order of PM's) They win the prize, which is a RAFFLE TICKET!!! YAY!!!!

It sounds good on paper, but we shall soon see.


CALLZ:

The calls will actually be slightly tame. I wish to not have a BUNCH of people in the call this time around since no one could get a word out and people will argue. so, trying not to be mean, I am limiting my call to a few people. Those that know me on Skype or those that wish to talk to me here's the thing:

1: I do NOT like to give out my Skype. So NOT ask for it unless I give it to you.

2: Those that know me on Skype allready, It is first come, first serve. I'm not going to be picky, and I know I will feel like a jerk by saying this, but I i DO have a mind set of people being in the call, and some opening slots for the First come first serve. I don't know when I'm going to start stream calls, so please, DO NOT ASK. Love you lots guys, but please don't hate me for being anal about the call this time.

3. I personally don't like big calls anymore.


That's how it is going to be. Don't get mad or anything, but that's just my take on the calls for MY stream >>'' I think I'll make the max like..5 to 6 people. I'll keep it in mind as the stream progresses...


SHOUTOUTS:
The Following are the people who featured the video on their channel and advertized this stream to make it a success. THANKS GUYS!
**IF YOUR NAME IS NOT ON THIS LIST BY SATURDAY, PM ME ON YOUTUBE. I WILL UPDATE THIS ALL DAY TODAY (4/16/10)**

Zodrow14
tiamatdragon55
717thdrummer
GVOLTT
anime4life907
audielchezzy123
Cruzboy10
SKArmedageddon
BetaManiacCommand
DragonZProductions
WyxlanLonestarX
Kallykaiba
Ikariamology
Shadigo10join
The5thSnow
Rukario485
arclad84
joedub2218
myguy17
Kowbrainz
hazerman13
GUNANGEL2
PhatmanPM
Vicious1788
GoddammitJoel
ChickenFajita12
dannyjrthehedgehog
360thatguy
KDavisJr86
onedi28
letsplay52
PhantomSavage
Car0den
aoimizuhime
Shuyink
ChristopherBrown1988
greendaylovr96
AndrewxAnarchy
Silverdude500
SearchingForRinoa
starboy35tcoos

THE GAMES YOU CAN CHOOSE FROM FOR SATURDAY:

Also Note: Most of you know that my PS2 has issues with it slowly eating up my games. I took some advice from that video and I will attempt to use it for this Stream Saturday. If all discs are not harmed by this, then AWESOME! XD

**MORE MAY BE ADDED LATER**


Wii/Wiiware:

Wii Sports
Chocobo Dungeon
Pokemon Battle Revolution
Super Smash Brothers Brawl
Super Paper Mario
Phantom Brave
Muramasa: The Demon Blade

Bubble Bobble
Bubble Bobble Wii Version
Phoenix Wright
Beyond Oasis
Donkey Kong Country
Kid Icarus
Pokemon Puzzle League
Pokemon Rumble Arena
Mario Brothers 3
Kirby 64: Crystal Shards
Mario Kart 64
Muscle March
Super Mario World
Metroid


XBox 360:

Enchanted Arms
Zoids Assault
Star Ocean
Eternal Sonata
Assassin's Creed
Last Remnant
Sega Tennis
FFXIII


GameCube:

Yu-Gi-Oh: Falsebound Kingdom
Zelda: Twilight Princess
The Sonic Collection (Sonic 1-Sonic 3 and Knuckles, Sonic Spinball, Sonic 3D-Blast)
Sonic Adventure 1
Sonic Adventure 2 Battle
Baton Kaitos
Zoids Battle Legends
Zoids vs. iii
Pokemon Coliseum
Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness
Zelda: Wind Waker
Megaman X Collection (Megaman X - Megaman X6)
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Zelda Mega Collection (Classic Zelda, Zelda II, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask)
Zelda: Master Quest
Carmen Sandiego <--borrowing from my sister


GBA: **PLAYING WITH GBA PLAYER ON GC**

Yu-Gi-Oh : GX Academy
Yu-Gi-Oh : Destiny of the Duel
Yu-Gi-Oh : Sacred Cards
Yu-Gi-Oh : Championship 2006
Pokemon Ruby
Kingdom Hearts: CoM


Nintendo 64:

Pokemon Stadium
Pokemon Stadium 2
Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Zelda: Majora's Mask
Pokemon Yellow/Gold/Blue **With use of Pokemon Stadium**


Nintendo:

Super Mario Bros. 3
Milon's Secret Castle
Burgertime
Faxandu
Megaman 5
Duck Hunt
Super Mario Bros. 2
Super Mario Bros.
Commando
Pinball
Elevator Action
Popeye
Mickey Mousecapade
Sesame Street: 1, 2, 3 **XD**
Bases Loaded
R.C. Pro A.M
Wizard and Warriors
Lolo
Stinger
Castlevania
Deadly Towers
Metroid
Wheel of Fortune
Alpha Mission
T&C Surf
Anticipation
Win, Lose, or Draw

**MORE FOR NINTENDO LATER**

Playstation:

Jet Moto
Croc
Brave Fencer Musashi
Grandia
MegaMan X4
Gundam Battle Assault 2
Digimon: Rumble Arena
Legend of Mana
Digimon: Digital Card Battle
Legend of Legaia
Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete
Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete


Playstation 2:

Yu-Gi-Oh: Duelist of the Roses
Yu-Gi-Oh: Capsule Monsters Coliseum
Sega Collection **LOOK UP FOR GAMES**
Digimon: Rumble Arena 2
Romancing Saga
Dawn of Mana
Final Fantasy X
Genji
Shadow of the Colossus
God of War
Sly Cooper
Sly 2
Sly 3
Legend of Legaia 2
Star Ocean
Kingdom Hearts II
Kingdom Hearts: RECOM
Bakugan
.hack
.hack//G.U.
Mana Khemia
Final Fantasy X-2
MegaMan X7
MegaMan X8
Orphen: Scion of Sorcery
Dark Cloud
Dark Cloud 2
Klonoa 2
Grandia Xtreme
Ape Escape 2




If I have any other things to iron out, I'll edit them all before the stream, so don't worry. You will all get the info you need before April 17th.

For now, I'll leave this as is, and I hope to see you all there!! Take care!!

New Last Minute Stream Happening This Weekend!

Well.....again the topic of charity comes up for what the OxyCleanStreams is handling between me and my mother, and again, she came up with another donation stream to handle. In this case, this one a bit close to home. It is a friend of my mom's that they all know. I'm going to copy and paste the large wall of text concerning this issue so, continue on:

In the United States, between 7,500 and 8,000 diagnoses of testicular cancer are made annually. A man’s risk of developing testicular cancer is roughly 1 in 250.


Joey Gaillard was originally diagnosed with testicular cancer in November 2008 at the age of 24, after feeling a hard lump on his right testicle. Immediately after being diagnosed, Joe’s first treatment was an orchiectomy (testicle removal). Since testicular cancer is a "curable" form of cancer, the removal of the testi might have been all that was needed to defeat the disease. Unfortunately, in this case, it was just the beginning of his battle. Due to the lack of general knowledge for identifying signs of TC, it was not caught in time. The cancerous cells spread to other parts of his body, rapidly causing the situation’s complexity and complications to increase.

In January 2009, he began intense chemotherapy treatments. Joe went through 5 straight days of chemotherapy at 8 hours a day. He continued to do so at a rate of one week on, two weeks off until March 2009. The chemotherapy used to treat TC is one of the most aggressive and powerful forms of treatment used today. Each week became increasingly worse, and he eventually lost his hair and about 25 pounds. Joe wasn’t completely "himself" until June 2009 when his hair began to grow back and his physical appearance started to resemble what it had been pre-treatment.

After the long 3 months of treatment, doctors were delighted to report that the tumor markers in his blood work had indicated that there was no more cancer in his body. The aggressive chemotherapy treatments had paid off! One of the United States’ top oncologists at the Palm Beach Cancer Institute was ecstatic to inform him that the chance of the cancer coming back was as little as 5%, meaning his chance of being cancer free was 95%.

Joe was ordered to receive blood work and CAT Scans every 3 months after the chemotherapy to make absolutely sure everything was still okay. After a year of negative readings for cancer, it was during January 2010 that Joe was told by his doctor in Florida that the cancer had returned, after viewing a large tumorous mass from his most recent CAT Scan. This time it was in his lymphatic system.

His doctor’s only recommendation was a surgery known as Retroperitoneal Lymph Node Dissection (RPLND). RPLND is a very high-risk surgery, due to the nerves surrounding the lymph nodes needing to be removed. Sadly, there are only two surgeons in the whole country who practice the RPLND surgery, and they are only performed about 100 times a year. Joe chose Dr. Sheinfeld from the Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital in Manhattan, New York to perform the surgery in March 2010. He chose Dr. Sheinfeld over other surgeons because he performs a unique "nerve sparing" procedure which can minimize the detrimental effects of post surgical complications. The surgery was a grueling 6 hour procedure that required a 14-inch incision in Joe’s abdomen. Although the list of risks ranged from infertility to severe nerve damage, the surgery went well with no immediate complications.

Although Dr. Sheinfeld cannot guarantee, he hopes that this is the last we will see of this horrible, life-altering cancer. Joe’s full recovery time is 6 to 12 months, though he will not be able to drive for the first 4 weeks. Soon after those 4 weeks, he plans on going back to work, starting out slow, to continue receiving his medical benefits. Unfortunately, his RPLND surgery costs hundreds of thousands of dollars and Joe’s insurance only covers a percentage of the total costs. Joe is left responsible to pay the remainder of his exorbitant hospitalization costs which could exceed $45,000, along with his regular, monthly cost-of-living bills.

Joe will continue to have follow-ups with his doctor in Florida, undergoing constant tests. If Joe’s latest surgery does not prevent his cancer from returning, he will need further chemotherapy treatments.

Realizing that the economy is not at its best, we are asking for any donation possible. The donation will help us raise the money needed to try to offset some of Joey’s medical bills. We would like to thank you in advance for your generous donations to assist a young man in dire need.




So basically, I'm asking donations to help with donations for their medical bills and such. If you WANT to help, you can do the thing you guys do best. SPREAD IT OVER THE INTERWEBZ!!! I would like this to be a successful donation stream like my JDRF stream back in October. The stream will be held HOPEFULLY this weekend once I set up a few things and set up a schedule and goals as per usual. I would appreciate it lots! More info on this later!!!

Monday Being an Awesome Day?! WTF?!

Today was a VERY awesome day today for a few reasons.

1) For some unholy reason, I was hyper. I was very freaked out when I was actually realizing that I was wide awake at work today. It made the day go by faster and awesome-er XD I was so happy!

2) My mom was VERY happy! It doesn't sound like an important thing, but TRUST ME!! When your boss at work is your own mother, you BETTER make sure she is happy! Otherwise, your day is HELL! It's like homeschool, only....not >>''

3) AFTER 9 MONTHS I FINALLY FOUND THE BOOK I WAS LOOKING FOR!! For those of you who don't know, I am a yaoi fan, and I've been hooked on the novel of "Only The Ring Finger Knows" and it is a great read. I read the first 3 volumes like..4 times >>. When I heard of the 4th volume, I died and I was in heaven. However, getting it was another story. Not one of my bookstores carried the book in stock at all. For months I had a hard time locating it online too due to the book supposedly being in high demand. However, as luck would have it, I E-mailed the company that published the book and they gave me the link to where to purchase it today after sending the E-mail about a month ago after talking with JuneManga on YT about how to get the item. I purchased it just now and I'm excited about reading it.

Man, with that book being purchased, my day has been complete. I have never been so happy before. It's just the little things in life that make you happiest the most. Being energetic on a Monday, and just being happy as well as those around you. It's an awesome feeling to feel great and seeing others feeling just as great!

Random Thought: I'm thinking about reviewing some manga on my blog as far as what I own and such. It should be interesting. We will soon see though....we will soon see.

HAVE A FANTASTIC WEEK EVERYONE!

Feeling Better, Other Random Things

Currently Listening: Something Missing from Bayonetta (Thank you Vicious!!)


Well, After talking with a few people, I feel a bit better. Not as depressed as before. I just have a hint of it, but it isn't effecting me as much as before. I apologize for my actions. It is just, I think too hard on things, making me feel worse than before.

Well, this week has been interesting really. I have been feeling slightly bummed from all of the snow my area has been gettin'. We are expecting more snow too. Dear lord...

I have also got my presents from my two awesome friends Ed and Dan. I got them awesome gifts too and I thank them for being awesome and sticking around with me and my horrible ways. They are angels for putting up with me.

I'm kinda upset about me not working on my Japanese like I want to. I haven't worked on it for about a month or two due to just being real busy and being preoocupied with everything else.

I'm also working on a few layouts for Dan and someone else for Youtube layouts and I have to sing Never Gonna Give You Up (when my sister and them leave apparently. I can't seem to get anytime to do it), and finish working on a fanfiction for someone for the Donation stream thing. I'm also just about finished with working on a drawing for someone and I'm going to work on the one for Dan. It will be interesting and I hope I don't ruin them at all. It will make me cry. T.T

I'm just busy anymore, and I'm just procrastinating. I need to start making deadlines. That way, I WILL finish them at a certain time. -_-'' I'm such a freak when it comes to it. XD

I've been playing a few other games while I've been in bed this weekend as well as my stream. I've also grinded a bit in Grandia for my LP, and it should be promising. I'm just a grinding whore. XD

To anyone who reads this, I wish you all well and I will try to update this weekly. I realize that writing how I feel here tends to keep my emotions in check and slightly sane. So I apologize in advance if things are emoism things/depressing things. It's just that, this is what this is mainly for to begin with.

Take care everyone!

Maybe I'm Not That Great of a Friend..

Well, I've been feeling rather depressed with myself this month of February. I feel rather, upset with myself and how I handled a few things and how I've treated people and such. I feel like I've been a horrible friend/person and it is driving me up the wall. I feel like, I'm just another one of those selfish people that does things just because they tell me to, or I do it to make me look better. I feel like I've been just one of those people that just take things for granted.

I don't understand this feeling, but it is aching me all over. I also feel like a joke to others too. It kinda hurts inside at times. I mean, I try to be funny, and sometimes it works, but when I'm not trying to be funny, everyone laughs. Am I really that stupid? Am I that clueless with people around me? It just feels hopeless. Being one big joke to people kind of aches me. I just think that, that is all they see in me. Just one big joke and push over. It annoys the HELL out of me. I'm tired of it and I can't take it. I don't understand it at all. I just hate yelling at others and trying to be the mean person, even though I allready felt like that to begin with. It sucks. Maybe I let them because I feel like I deserve it as some payment for my evil ways from the past. I don't really know. Maybe I've been in the wrong about everything.

I'm just tired with how I am, but no matter how hard I try to change it, I just can't. Change is something I'm having a hard time with. It sucks for me to even think about changing. I don't want to change. But, I do. It's so confusing! I hate it so much...

Maybe I am doing something wrong. I mean, I lost so many friends in my time more than the friends I have. I can count the friends I have on one finger. My allies lost, I can't. I think I am the one that is in the wrong.

Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut anymore, and not speak how I feel. That is usually the cause of me losing my friends. The sad thing is that, I really don't know what it is I say at times that makes them so upset. It hurt that I am THAT much of an idiot to not realize what hurts my friends or not..

I guess what I am trying to tell myself in this blog is that, I'm not a great friend. I suck at it, and everytime I try, it just gets worse. Maybe it is best that I don't have friends, and go back to how I was before; a loner. That way, I won't hurt anyone but myself, and everyone will be happy again. Maybe just go off somewhere, and not let anyone know. I'm sure that they will be happy while I'm not around.

I know it isn't the best thing to do, but I can't help but to think it. I'm not at all that great. i can't make people smile, I can't do anything well when it comes to talent, and I just hurt the people around me. I'm tired of it, and it is hurting me knowing the fact I hurt so many in my life. It sickens me all to Hell....

I try to be there for them, and tell them how I feel, but it just backfires and I don't think too much at all before I act. I'm new to the whole "Speaking Your Mind" thing, and frankly, I hate it. I don't ever want to speak my mind to others. This blog is the only thing that I can speak my mind with. It is the only thing I know that I can say things without having to backfire about my emotions and such.

I think I'm over with speaking my mind with others. I feel that not only does it make me look a fucking idiot, but a helpless dependant person. I don't want to be like that. I really don't.

I need to learn to help myself....or I won't get anywhere in life. I plan on not being with anyone, so it should be easier to just keep things as is....

I don't even know what I'm typing in here anymore...just a bunch of jibberish I'm sure. I'll just end it here and call it a night for this. Good Night.

Layout is a Renew and Some Random Things.

As you can see, I redid the layout for this and I chose this template because I felt like it. It looks pretty cool and I enjoy it's look. I'm not big on warm colors for webpages, but this is fine.

Well, 2010 has been a bit interesting so far. A few things happened here and there. I got a few cool games, my PC's fan died, and I was hosting a donation stream. Oh, and I worked, worked, and worked.

My PC is still in the shop and it is a sad thing. My Yu-Gi-Oh month was cancelled rather early due to it. Even when I recieved my Dazzle for my MAC, I can't record anything due to the sound crackling and hurting ones ears. I can't even fix that editing to the sound. ><" It isn't cool, man!

I've also been watching since the middle of January is Detective Conan/Cased Closed. I'm so addicted to it. I actually like the dubbed version to the anime. Jerry Jewell pulled off a nice Kudo. Besides, I like his voice. It's wierd to say that, but I really enjoy listening to him talk. I like all the voice actors in it too. It is also easier for me to follow the anime dubbed. I realize that I understand it a bit better by listening to it, rather than reading it. Sad, but true you lovely weeaboo's reading this. ^_~ Not all anime is perfect in sub format. Look at YuYu Hakusho, Comic Party, and a few others. So, TAKE THAT!!

I have been playing some games too. I got Phantom Brave and I played a bit of it. It is just like Playstation version, but it could have a twist. Who knows. I also purchased COUGHCOUGHBAKUGANCOUGHCOUGH. The Wiiware had a few intersting games I wanted to try/have recently that I noticed. I had the Wii Points and so I got the Phoienx Wright game as well as the Bubble Bobble game. The Bubble Bobble game for the WiiWare is a bit....challenging. It's very sensitive for you making bubbles near and around the walls. It's unforgiving, but I managed to beat the game on NORMAL! I'm afraid to see the harder onces. >>''

The donation stream for the NAA that went on this past weekend was successful. We didn't read our goal of $500.00 like we wanted, but, we got close. But, we had a blast! We played games, created new memes, humilated ourselves and got embarrased when our parents came into play....ESPECIALLY mine. -_-'' What's worse is that it is on recording too on YT. ><"

Besides the computer issues and the Nor'Easter snow storms that we've been having, I'm VERY excited about this new year.

THe games coming out are actually interesting me to the point of RESERVING them, or wanting to reserve them. I all ready reserved Pokemon HeartGold and Lunar: Silver Star Harmony. I've been waiting for these games, even though I can't play the Lunar one. I had to get rid of my PSP due to the battery dying. I got trade credit for all the PSP items and got Star Ocean for the Xbox360 and Eternal Sonata for the 360.

It's been an interesting year so far, and I hope that it all goes well this year!! WE NEED A GOOD YEAR, DAMNIT!!